The waiting is the hardest part

Sunrise 7:04 am

I’m waiting. Waiting for what? I’m waiting for life to pass me by. You see, I wake up, have my coffee, log my meals, do my exercise, plan my activities for the day, go to work, make the dinner, spend the time with friends and family, but I sense I am doing this all wrong.

Usually, I do these things with the goal to finish the activity, eat the meal, pass the time and go back to bed. Today, this mindset is not sitting well with me. Why? This mindset is robbing me of the moments and relationships in my life that matter most.

I’m a planner, a mover and a shaker. Everyday, I make things happen to reach my goals at work and in life. But somehow I’ve forgotten to be mindful in those moments. My fear is that life is going to pass me by and I will not have noticed it.

I will not have sat on the bench in my vestibule first thing in the morning with my hot cup of coffee to watch the 15 minute display that the artist creates as He picks and chooses his palette in the sky.

I didn’t sit with my sons in their bedrooms at night and ask them how their days went. How many customers did Harry serve at the gelato shop where he works because the coronavirus has put restrictions on how many people can gather at restaurants.

And what kind of vegetables should Hunter and I grow in our garden this year? I like green onions, dad likes cucumbers and Bob, our bearded dragon, likes green squash.

I haven’t made the time to get with my husband, putting work and tv shows aside, to look into his eyes and ask him, “how is life going for you so far?” And “I appreciate you spending time talking with our 17 year old son yesterday. Do you want to go get take-out gelato on Thursday night between 4-8? Harry’s working.”

Hey, it’s not too late now to begin again. And again.

How are you doing experiencing the moments in your life?

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